Time

So, I have had a conversation with a friend several times... always about the same thing...

Basically we both do art-based work (I write, she paints) and both of us wonder whether people think we do much all day when we have 'free' time (child-free). I always wondering whether people think I drop the kids off and go and watch Jeremy Kyle, or whether I just go back to bed, or watch a movie or go shopping...

I worry a lot about what people think about me, something I am learning to change... but it does make me wonder, am I alone? Does everyone writing their first book have these thoughts? They are of course coupled with feeling like a fraud (not being paid to write the book kinda puts a dampner on things) but what I am doing I am doing out of love-

Love for writing.
Love for my story.
Love for the chance to be able to write whilst my husband works all the hours he can...
Love for myself to follow MY dream.

As it happens, I don't have the tv on in the day, I also only tend to spend time catching up with facebook/emails etc when I am eating lunch...

I drop the kids off, take the dog out (this week the morning dog walk has been accompanied by a hot cuppa with my mother who has just moved bakc to the village), go home, tidy (a tiny bit), then do one or more of the following: read my novelicious book, write my novel, plan my novel, read a book for my novel, read emails, enter writing comps, research my novel, fit in lunch... then I go for a second dog walk and then it's time to collect the kids.

The days seem to fly by so I am now only at 45k, but I am still going... I have to work out part of the plot soon so will probably be doing less writing and more scribbling and planning in a notepad... I love handwritten stuff more than typing and I find a good long walk can settle the ideas and thoughts that are all jumbled in my head.... anyway, I digress...

I guess what I am trying to say is if you meet a writer who is writing their first book, or who has very little published, don't treat them like a fraud. They already feel like one anyway... Ask them how it's going... ask them what they're writing is about... don't presume they lie in bed all day with pizza boxes scattered across the floor... just be kind... we don't get paid or pushed by our boss to do it, yet we keep doing it in the hope that one day we will see our book on the shelf in Waterstones... in the hope that it might just change one person's life... we have hope... all we need now is support, love and understanding. A hug now and again would also help :)

To those friends that ask me questions, that show a deep interest, that say positive things- thank you!!!! I need it and I appreciate it.... always xxx